What does some of the symbolism of the wedding traditions mean: white, rings, altar, vows, etc?
White: White is a symbol of purity, innocence, joy, and celebration. In the Christian tradition, white is the symbol of holiness, so much so that the early Christians believed that white repelled the devil.
Rings: Rings have symbolism beyond the wedding. But within the boundaries of wedding symbolism the circle means eternity and unity. It represents the unending state of matrimony — a “forever until death do us part” association. The ring has traditionally stood for a covenant or agreement, or the seal of a binding contract. More specifically, the ring represents the marriage vow. Two rings joined together are a symbol of joint covenant, unity, and united love or life.
Altar: The altar is the center and focal point of a church, where the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross is made present under sacramental signs in the Mass. It represents the mystery of the Eucharist. (Catechism of the Catholic Church glossary). The Eucharist is the source and summit of the Christian faith as well as the source and focal point of all the other sacraments of which Marriage is one.
Vows: Vows are promises made by the man and woman before God and the priest or deacon as a representative of the Church. The couple publicly declares their love for each other. They promise each other permanent and faithful love. They promise each other fruitful love and openness to life that images God’s love. Living the vows is ongoing, living proof of their love for each other.
Blessed Mother Flowers: While it is not part of the Marriage Rite, couples may present flowers to Mary after the closing prayer, as a sign of love and devotion. Mary is the model of discipleship and obedience to God for all believers. Christian spouses can follow Mary’s example of faith and trust. Husbands and wives can look to Mary, Virgin and Mother, as a model of marital chastity and fidelity. Married couples, in particular, can seek her intercession with her son Jesus, knowing that she understands both the joys and sorrows of married life and parenthood.
We would like to incorporate the unity candle in our wedding ceremony. Is that allowed?
The Unity Candle is a dramatic symbol of marital unity. However, it is not a part of the Rite of Marriage. The primary symbols of the unity of husband and wife in marriage are the exchange of vows and the exchange of rings. The unity candle is both beautiful and sentimental and therefore tends to overshadow the primary and most important symbols of marital unity.
A unity candle ceremony may be more appropriate at the reception following the wedding. It may be a meaningful way of opening the reception with a prayer.
My aunt bakes the bread for communion at her parish? Is it OK for her to bake the communion?
The Instruction, Redemptionis Sacramentum describes how “the bread used in the celebration of the Most Holy Eucharistic Sacrifice must be unleavened, purely of wheat, and recently made so that there is no danger of decomposition. It follows therefore that bread made from other substance, even if it is grain, or if it is mixed with another substance different from wheat to such an extent that it would not commonly be considered wheat bread, does not constitute valid matter for confecting the Sacrifice and the Eucharistic Sacrament. It is a grave abuse to introduce other substances, such as fruit or sugar or honey, into the bread for confecting the Eucharist. Hosts should obviously be made by those who are not only distinguished by their integrity, but also skilled in making them and furnished with suitable tools.”
At a recent wedding…
I saw a basket of canned goods and other food brought up when the bread and wine were brought up before the Eucharistic prayer. Why was that done?
Gifts for the poor may be brought forward with the bread and wine in the offertory procession at any Mass. From the very beginning Christians have brought, along with the bread and wine for the Eucharist, gifts to share with those in need. This custom of the collection, ever appropriate, is inspired by the example of Christ who became poor to make us rich. (Catechism of the Catholic Church #1350)
This is an opportunity to include family and friends by asking them to bring up the gifts.
Is it OK if my aunt does a liturgical dance during the ceremony?
No. Liturgical dance is not permitted during the liturgy for number of reasons. First of all, we come to Mass primarily to adore God. We do not come to Mass to entertain one another. It is possible that there could be a dance that is so exquisite that it raises people’s minds to God, and they are praying and adoring God and when the dance is finished they are still wrapped up in prayer. However, this has not been the experience of Liturgical Dance.
We have customs from my culture that I would like to include in the ceremony. Is that possible?
It is possible to include customs and traditions from another culture in the celebration of Christian marriage as long as these customs and traditions contain nothing that is not in harmony with the Christian faith and morality (Familiaris Consortio #67). Therefore, it depends on what customs you wish to include.
My priest won’t allow us to throw rice after the wedding. Why?
The practice of throwing rice is rooted in ancient pagan fertility symbolism and is therefore strongly discouraged. Substituting confetti or birdseed does not make it any more acceptable. And, for practical, clean-up reasons, many parishes prohibit tossing anything on parish grounds.
Can we have a candle light wedding?
Yes, with the permission of the pastor.
Is it OK to have a runner at the wedding ceremony?
This is dependent upon the local parish church. During the Middle Ages, it was widely believed that evil spirits could be released from hell by Satan to spoil the union God had created. It was also believed, however, that the color white was impenetrable by such evil spirits. To protect the bride and groom, the white aisle runner was often used for weddings. Today, the runner can be a way of protecting the bridal gown. Or, it can be a tripping hazard.
Why doesn’t the priest/deacon say, “You may kiss the bride” during Catholic weddings?
“Kissing the bride” is not part of the Rite of Marriage so it may not be said.
Do I have to bring flowers to the Blessed Mother?
No. Presenting flowers to the Blessed Mother is not a part of the Marriage Rite. One suggestion is to bring flowers to the Blessed Mother at the rehearsal rather than during the Wedding if a person feels that this is important. It may also be done after the Final Blessing.