Fr. Kevin Keelen, St. Barnabas, Bayville, NJ
Today’s readings talk about love, a much over-used word in our vocabulary. But the Scriptures reveal the authentic nature of love and its awesome power. As St. John reminds us, “everyone who loves is begotten of God… for God is love.”
The Church recognizes one of the highest expressions of human love in the Sacrament of Marriage. In our current time in history, the very definition of marriage is threatened to be broadened beyond what we have always believed it and known it to be both as a church and a
society. In a government of the people, by the people, and for the people, each of us has the responsibility to let our representatives know how we want them to vote. Yet, this issue is not so much a Church issue in the sense that the Catholic Church has never recognized any civil marriage as a sacrament. In order for a marriage to be a recognized and blessed as a sacrament one of the necessary components is that it must be between one man and one woman. Another necessary component is that the marriage must be open to having children. The Church’s understanding of marriage can be summed up in this way: “Marriage, as a Christian sacrament, is a lifelong and faithful union of a man and a woman mutually committed to sharing their life and love together. Modeled after and strengthened by God’s own love for his people, it is an intimate partnership in which each person gives the other freedom to grow and which is directed toward bearing fruit.”
Not all couples are able to have children, but all couples can bear fruit of some kind for God’s world, for love, by its very nature, expands outwards. Christian married love should be directed outside itself toward others. Raising children is the usual and natural expression of fruitfulness in marriage. But, it is not about numbers, there can be loving large families, loving small families, and loving childless couples. However, Christian marriage can never be truly sacramental without being open to the possibility of brining forth children into the world.
Our bishops have stated that “Only within marriage does a couple fully symbolize the Creator’s dual design, as an act of covenant love: with the potential of co-creating new human life.” This is why the Church will never recognize homosexual marriage. Only a man and a woman can conceive a child (naturally).
Homosexuality is surely one of the “hot button” or ‘red flag’ issues in Church and society today. In the intense struggle to achieve equal rights, which is something that can be respected, there has been confusion as to what marriage really is.
We as a church should never condone discrimination, intolerance, or hatred in any form toward any person or group, yet at the same time we must protect and defend what we believe to be sacred and true.
It is God who created us the way we are- thus sacramental marriage is meant to be both for unity (love and sharing life) and procreation (having children). Yes, God has created us the way we are, and God has created children who are heterosexual and homosexual. Evidence indicates that being homosexual is most often an experience that is discovered, not freely chosen. This is how God has created some of his children, even if it is a relatively small but significant percentage of the population. Historically, this has always been the case. We have come to new and more enlightened understandings in our time, yet there is still much confusion, much to learn, and work to be done.
The sacrament of marriage belongs to God’s heterosexual children who love each other so much that they vow their love before God and his Church and in those vows promise to love one another for the rest of their lives with an openness to the possibility of having children. But we must remember that we are all called to chaste love, whether married or single, heterosexual or homosexual. For chaste love is that which is authentic, generative, and selfless. The same moral principals apply to homosexual and heterosexual persons.
How do we know when love is real? This may be a bit difficult, for we cannot see into people’s hearts that easily. I think the best description of authentic love that I’ve ever heard comes from St. Paul in 1 Cor. 12-13. This kind of love can be shared with anyone, since it is not about sex. We can love others with this wonderful love in our families or circles of friends, despite gender or any other factor that may be different about us. This kind of love, hopefully, is present in Marriage, with the added dimension of shared sexuality and procreation. This is a beautiful thing, love is a holy thing; in fact in our second reading today St. John tells us that “God is love.”
In our attempt to protect marriage for the state, we must remember that it will always be protected in the Church by its very definition. We should be careful, however, not to be condemning or unloving in our efforts. Mindful of the inherent and abiding dignity of every human person, the Catholic bishops reaffirm that homosexual persons, like everyone else, should not suffer from prejudice against their basic human rights. They have a right to respect, friendship and justice. They should have an active role in the Christian community. The Catechism states: “Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard (homosexuals) should be avoided.” And in an even more powerful statement from the Vatican’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith- written by Cardinal Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI: “It is deplorable that homosexual persons have been and are the object of violent malice in speech or action. Such treatment deserves condemnation from the Church’s pastors wherever it occurs.”
To be clear my friends, the Church challenges both homosexual and heterosexual persons concerning their discovered orientations and its implication in terms of choices and lifestyles. Marriage is much easier to define than love. Marriage is what it is for very good reasons. The language of Civil Unions and other definitions may work much better to provide a less difficult battle for those who seek equal human rights without infringing upon the very definition of a lifestyle which belongs specifically to God’s heterosexual children; a life covenant which we deem so very sacred that we call it a sacrament.
Above all, we must remember that we are all called to a Higher Love. Love is the key – as Jesus says in today’s Gospel:
“The commandment I give you is this: that you love one another.”