Attendants & Presiders

Is there a part of the liturgy where the father gives the bride away?
I’ve seen it in my friend’s protestant church. No. Centuries ago, marriages were political, social, and economic unions before they were anything else. Daughters were considered the property of their fathers until they were married, at which time they became the property of their husbands. The bride’s father would give his daughter to her new family at the wedding celebration in fulfillment of the prearranged contract.
Today, if the bride’s father or father and mother walk down the aisle with the bride, they may show a sign of affection before they go to their places.

Do we have to give the priest/ deacon something as a thank you after the wedding?
Though it is not required to give your priest/deacon anything as a thank you for helping to prepare you for the sacrament of marriage, it can be a nice gesture to give him something for his efforts. If you feel that the priest/deacon has been helpful, it would be good to show that. It can be a gift or gift certificate or money. Remember that the church donation does not go to priest. That goes to the parish. Check with the parish for guidance.

Do we give anything to the altar servers who assist at our wedding ceremony?
Yes, the servers are giving of their free time so be generous. Some churches include this in their fees, so check with the parish.

How can my fiancé’s minister participate in the Mass? Can she concelebrate with the priest?
There are three issues to be addressed in this instance. First, only a validly ordained priest in the Catholic Church who is in good standing may offer the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Therefore, a non Catholic minister cannot concelebrate the Eucharistic Liturgy with the priest.
Second. Normally, a marriage between a Catholic person and a non-Catholic person is celebrated outside of Mass. Communion is an essential part of the Mass and a symbol of unity of those participating in it. Although in marriage the two become one flesh, they are not one in the area of religious affiliation. This religious separation does not need to be accentuated by one spouse receiving Eucharist while the other does not.
However, if the circumstances justify it, a marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic can be celebrated within Mass, subject to the local bishop’s consent and respecting the Church’s law regarding to reception of the Eucharist.
Third, the Catholic priest may however, invite the minister to participate in the celebration of the marriage, to read from the Scriptures, give a brief exhortation and bless the couple.

My uncle is a permanent deacon; can he participate in the ceremony? Can he give us our vows?
Yes. A permanent deacon can assist at the Nuptial Mass as he would at any other Mass. He can also witness the marriage for the Church by leading you in your wedding vows.

Can we still receive Holy Communion if a deacon is celebrating our wedding ceremony?
Yes, there can still be a celebration of the Eucharist during a Marriage Ceremony with a deacon, outside of Mass.
The hosts must have been previously consecrated at a Mass and reserved in the Tabernacle. The deacon witnessing a marriage during the Marriage Ceremony is able to distribute the Eucharist to those properly eligible. Obviously, there will be no offertory procession, so there will be fewer places for friends and relatives to participate.
Communion is a symbol of unity for those who are participating in it.
If however, the marriage is between a Catholic person and a non-Catholic person, it is more appropriate that Communion not be a part of the ceremony. Although in marriage the two become one flesh, they are not one in the area of religious affiliation. This religious separation does not need to be accentuated by one spouse receiving Eucharist while the other does not.

Can my aunt, a Eucharistic minister at her parish, participate as minister at our wedding Mass?
If a person is an Extraordinary Minister in another parish, it is the pastor’s or presider at the Wedding Mass’s decision if the Extraordinary Minister may serve.
If such ordinary ministers of Holy Communion (priests or deacons) are not present, “the priest may call upon extraordinary ministers to assist him, i.e., duly instituted acolytes or even other faithful who have been deputed for this purpose. In case of necessity, the priest may also depute suitable faithful for this single occasion.” (General Instruction for the Roman Missal, #162)

Can my 10-year-old niece be my maid of honor?
Yes. According to The Code of Canon Law, unlike sponsors at Baptism (Canon 872) and Confirmation (Canon 892), the witnesses at marriage assume no responsibility to attest to the faith of those entering marriage or to assist them in living out the obligations of marriage. Their sole function is to witness to the fact that the marriage was legitimately celebrated. The code stipulates no detailed qualifications for those fulfilling this role. To function as witnesses to the marriage the witnesses should possess the use of reason and be capable of understanding the events they are witnessing. Canon 97 sets the use of reason to be at the completion of the seventh year. In this case it is perfectly all right for your 10 year old niece to be your “maid of honor.”

Do the best man and maid of honor need to be Catholic?
Neither the best man nor the maid of honor needs to be Catholic. This is one instance where they don’t even have to be Christian. Unlike the sponsors at Baptism (Canon 872) and Confirmation (Canon 892) the witnesses at marriage assume no responsibility to attest to the faith of those entering marriage or to assist them in living out the marriage obligations. Their sole function is to witness to the fact that the marriage was legitimately celebrated, (before a duly authorized priest or deacon and two witnesses).

Can I have a maid and matron of honor (or two best men)?
You can have anyone past the age of reason for your witnesses. It may be two women or two men but only two witnesses are to sign the marriage license as a witness to your marriage. Traditionally there is a maid or matron of honor to attend the bride and a best man to attend the groom but this is not required.

Can we have children involved in our wedding ceremony (ring bearers, flower girls)?
It is not advisable to have very young children involved in the ceremony since they may become a distraction. If you have young children involved, an adult who is not in the wedding party should be the caretaker.

I heard that the priest is supposed to lead the procession at a wedding. Is that true?
Yes. In the Rite of Marriage, the ministers go first followed by the priest and then the bride and groom.
If there is a procession to the altar, the ministers go first, followed by the priest, and then the bride and the bridegroom. According to local custom, they may be escorted by at least their parents and the two witnesses. (Rite of Marriage #20)

Can my mother and father walk me down the aisle for my wedding?
Yes. The procession serves both a practical and symbolic purpose. It moves people from one place to another in an orderly way. At the same time, it symbolizes the pilgrimage of God’s people to eternal life.
Parents are the ones who are most influential in their child’s life. Parents are the ones who nurture their children not only in their physical and emotional well being but also in their faith. The pilgrimage of God’s people to eternal life begins with their earthly parents.

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